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Tom Cruise rocked a bald head and a paunch, Sandra Bullock asked people to go back to making fun of her, and the Twilight franchise was predictably over-exposed at Sunday’s lively (and expletive-laden) MTV Movie Awards.

Though the two-hour ceremony seemed like one big promotion for the return of Jersey Shore on July 29 (the cast of the MTV reality show appeared frequently in and around the Gibson Amphitheatre near Universal Studios in California, where the event was held), the show was still chock full of highlights that didn’t involve Snooki or The Situation. Cruise gamely reprised his role as Les Grossman from Tropic Thunder in some side-splitting skits as the award show’s “producer” (“Sit back, relax, and enjoy my giant, two-hour s–t”). Ken Jeong (The Hangover) tearfully talked about his cancer-free wife while accepting the prize for the Best WTF Moment. Peter Facinelli (Dr. Carlisle Cullen) dropped one too many F-bombs – some of which couldn’t be bleeped in time by the censors – when nabbing the Best Movie prize for New Moon. And making their (world!) premieres: the trailers for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Bullock – fresh off her surprise appearance at Saturday’s Guys Choice Awards – received this year’s Generation Award from presenters Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson and the delightfully unpredictable Betty White (who called her co-star from The Proposal a “national treasure” but then referred to her own ovaries as “historical monuments”). Resplendent in a short dress and sky-high heels, Bullock received a standing ovation as she told the crowd,  ”No matter what you might have seen or read, I love what I do. I’m not going anywhere.” And in an obvious reference to her very public split from Jesse James, Bullock quipped, “Whoever established the high road and how high it should be, should be fired.”

She then playfully kissed Johansson (the wife of Ryan Reynolds, Bullock’s co-star from The Proposal) and asked the crowd to pray for the victims of the oil spill disaster in the Gulf. “Go back to making fun of me,” she added.

The show included musical performances by Christina Aguilera and Katy Perry.  And yes, awards were actually given, though most of the acceptance speeches paled in comparison to the skits (Host Aziz Ansari as Taavon the Swagga Coach! Will Ferrell dangling from the proscenium!). Here were the night’s winners:

Best Female Performance:  Kristen Stewart (New Moon)

Best Breakout Star:  Anna Kendrick (Up in the Air)

Best Scared as Sh*! Performance: Amanda Seyfried (Jennifer’s Body)

Best Kiss:  Stewart and Robert Pattinson (New Moon)

Best WTF Moment: Ken Jeong (The Hangover)

Best Villain: Tom Felton (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)

Biggest Badass Star: Rain

Best Male Performance: Pattinson

Best Comedic Performance: Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover)

Best Movie: New Moon

(Not included in the telecast: The award for Best Fight, which went to Beyonce and Ali Larter from Obsessed)

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KATUNI YA LEO

Pop singer Britney Spears has nothing on RHOA cast member Kim Zolciak’s wig. Britney decided to forego the lacefront wigs, made popular by Beyonce, and just rock the sew-in extensions infusions instead. Her tracks infusions were the stars as paparazzi shot them from all angles.

 

Alicia Keys is in a motherhood state of mind: She’s pregnant with her first child.

The Grammy Award-winning R&B singer has been dating producer Swizz Beatz, who has written hits for Beyonce (bee-AHN’-say), Jay-Z and others. They’re engaged to be married at a private ceremony later this year.

Representatives for the couple confirmed the news Thursday night.

Keys last year teamed up with Jay-Z for a hit song about New York called “Empire State of Mind.” She’s among a string of international artists slated to perform at a June 10 concert to mark the start of the World Cup soccer tournament in South Africa.

Beatz has been married before and has two sons.

Real Madrid have sacked coach Manuel Pellegrini, with the Spanish giants set to turn to Inter Milan’s Jose Mourinho as his replacement at the Bernabeu.

Mourinho is expected to head to Real after winning the Champions League in Madrid with Inter on Saturday.

“I’m ready to admit to some mistakes but Mourinho’s hiring is an opportunity that Madrid could not miss,” said Real president Florentino Perez.

Inter are resigned to losing the 47-year-old former Chelsea boss to Madrid.

However, Inter president Massimo Moratti has suggested Mourinho’s departure could be a protracted affair, with the Italian club demanding up to £13.5m in compensation given the Portuguese coach’s contract at the San Siro runs until 2012.

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“What is still left to resolve is the interpretation, between Mourinho and the club, of his contract,” said Perez.

Mourinho has often said he wants to manage in Spain and has cited the fact that no manager has ever won championships in England, Italy and Spain.

Pellegrini, 56, has been under pressure after failing to win a trophy this year.

Real were pipped to the Primera Liga title by Barcelona and were knocked out of both the Champions’ League and the Spanish Cup.